Others: ♥ ♥ ♥
Maafkan aku.
O Allah, if this what I feel all this while, please erase everything inside. If I made an even a little mistake, please show me the punishment. I hide a lot. And I burden myself. I cry inside but never show by action. Am I insane? Am I going to a new life? O Allah, please forgive all my sins in this world.
After listening to nowseeheart's song tittle selawat atasmu, I feel like to cry. Seriously! This song really touch my heart deep inside. I'm thinking about umi since she called me yesterday. And I cried alot. I miss her! I miss to talk to her! I miss to hear her mumbling. I miss everything about her. She's my mom in this world and the hereafter.
Yesterday, she talked about her problem in sudden. For almost 3 weeks I'm not home and you can imagine how you really miss your mom, your family and your house. She's my mom and she's my dad :'( I love her so much. No one can replace her! She's not feeling well now. I'm worrying about her. I'm worrying about her more than I'm thinking about everything. She's really hope that all her children can success since she will never ever be able to do that. She's always says that she's not lucky enough to seek knowledge in this world instead of she had to raise all her 10 brothers and sisters. She's so poor.
And she said, "If I can rewind the time and I have freedom to seek a knowledge, I'll definitely be a lucky woman and I'll not raising my sons in difficulties". I'm so touched. Even you have a bad mom, she still have a pure heart to bring you and light up your life. After talked to her, I feel full of guilty. I'm not give 100 percent attention to my study. I take it for granted. I'm afraid if she will be dissapointed again to me. Forgive me umi :( I don't want to be her only baby in this family but I just want to make her proud because I hurt her too much while she did nothing bad to me. So unfair!
Umi, if you want to know, you are the most beautiful, caring, best mom ever I had. You did nothing but I did lot of bad things to you. I won't never ever be separated with you because I have no one in this world except you. I need you. I need your dua'. Mom, give me a chance to fix everything and make you happy all the time. I love you so much mom!
| 
